Meditation on Emotion:
"Surely, there is no stable self. You are a product of your
human situation, your multiple realities, even contradictory ones. Meditation is essential to be freer from your human
stituation, your multiple realities, and even contradictory ones to approach "what you really are." Deanna
A meditation on the question of compassion
The human mind is not western or eastern because at the core
the mind is psychologically similar. If this is a true statement, is human nature inherently compassionate or selfish
by design or is compassion a social construct?
According to social scientists and psychologist human nature is selfish
by design and compassion is a social construct. I challenge the concept because the "action" of the "insight" frees any
social construction invented by thought.
Compassion can never be a social construct because intelligence, compassion,
and love is not of "time." Any social construction is invented by "thought" and is the result of a conditioned brain.
The construction of the psyche (brain) is the sum of culture and
the condition of the psyche (brain) is the product of social, religious, political, and self-imposed boundaries.
Since the Mind is evolved from nature human consciousness
is one not individual in consciousness. Any social construct is invented by thought not by nature the core
characteristic of the Cosmos. Social construct is "Reality" and Compassion is "Truth", the immediacy which
is not of time. Most of our actions are always on the *time level.
Most of us, as humans, are about building up our material and physical
well being. It's very materialistic and physical. We devote little time to meditation and being Good to other people. The
idea of meeting your basic need is not merely taking what you need but once your basic need is met you
find yourself needing more and more physical and material comfort. So, why do we have this need to want more and more? Is
the need a selfish design or a condition to secure false security psychologically?
I do not believe if two people exist on an island and food is
scarce you would kill to save yourself from starving. I believe you share the food and in sharing there is the act of "compassion"
to see the situation as it "really is" opposed to self interest of killing to have more food. So, in essence the deepest need
is "good relationship" and "good relationship" requires the core element of "compassion." In reality (truth) humans are compassionate,
and happiness is found in cooperation because it benefits the sum of all parts.
The biology of "compassion" is simple. To see the way things "really
are" and in that moment of "seeing" you are compassionate. The non verbal characteristic is the "seeing" "knowing" and this
is the action of the insight not bound to time. Because compassion is not bound to time social
scientist and psychologist are in error. Compassion is not bound to "time" therefore free
from selfish design or social construction invented by social scientist and psychologist.
*Time is mechanical and personal being intimate
experiencing the past, present, or future. Since Time is known as mechanical and personal it is limited, therefore, time is contrary to what Time is.
**********
A discourse on the idea of an afterlife:
"The sadness of our human consciousness is the need for immortality,
eternity, and the immeasurable. We have related immortality something beyond death that we miss the beauty of what death
is. To find out what death is one has to be with death. To end all attachments, believes, authority, and end everything
one has collected. This is true immorality, eternity, and the immeasurable." Deanna
DEATH
Is their continuation of life after death? Is there psychological
evolution of life after death? Why has man invent psychological evolution - the need to continue life after death?What happens
to you when you die?
All religions as far I know accept life after death. Christianity
and Islam accept one life after death. The belief of Christ as savior is essential to guarantee a place in heaven is fundamental
Christianity. The Catholics agree to grace but good works is required to find favor with God. Most of the religions from the
west offer some type of life after death or levels in heaven to be united with God. Islam, originated in the East offers
one life in paradise after death. The place of heaven and paradise is pictured perfection with many benefits for those who
endure the requirements set by religious authority and sacred text. So, the belief in a Savior, God, or other religious authority
and literature sets the stage for heaven and paradise providing certain conditions are met. If these conditions are not met
than another place is determined for those who are disobedient and rebellious.
Hinduism accepts many lives after death and has a continuation after
death. The belief of Hinduism is life before you were born and will continue to do so. The concept of reincarnation and many
lives to follow until perfection is, the reward for those who must always strive to achieve. The belief of Buddhism does not
reincarnate or transmigrate. The attitude of the Buddhist is a rebirth. Buddhism believes that man is composed of five aggregates
physical and mental. Mental qualities and physical bodies are all energies and forces. Death is simply the non function of
the body but that does not mean the non function of all other qualities such as desire and the will to become perfect. Once
man sees himself perfect, for example, there is no desire to become perfect. If the man desires to become a rebirth
is for him but it is the continuation of the unchanging substance. One may ask: Is the rebirth of another life his life?
No, The rebirth or becoming is not the same person or another. It is neither he nor another. That is the Buddhist attitude
of a rebirth.
In all religions we have some sort of self, soul, spirit, atman, permanence,
unchanging, everlasting permanent substance that transmigrates, reincarnates, or a rebirth. The belief there is life
after death is to belief the concept of psychological evolution and human consciousness as fragmented or divided.
All humanity, as I see it, is caught up in sorrow, conflict,
strive, guilt, shame, loneliness, confusion, and a great sense of misery. That is the common lot of man and the ordinary consciousness
of man is all this. Human beings throughout the world have the same psychological phenomena and psychologically we are greatly
similar. One can say that I am the world and the world is I.
For example, I was born in Holland and my neighbor in Saudi Arabia.
Outwardly our culture, tradition, climate, and food may vary but inwardly we are the same. We share feelings of guilt, anxiety,
shame, despair, depression, sorrow, and rare moments of happiness. This is my lot and my neighbor's lot and not
only our lot but the common lot of all mankind. The consciousness of the human being the content and the content is similar
to all mankind.
Thus, we human beings are alike. Deeply the writer and
the reader are similar and we share psychologically the same pain, sorrow, and rare moments of happiness. Each
one of us goes through misery, misfortune, and rare moments of happiness. Humanity and human consciousness
is one evolved by the Cosmos.Human consciousness is the common consciousness of man and the stream of consciousness
in which man lives. The form and name maybe different but psychologically mankind lives in that stream; with rare moments
of great joy and beauty. This fast stream is going all the time like a river and is common to all of us. Also, in that
stream the whole notion which people share of some individual conscious and our education teach us we are individuals.
The whole word "individual" is misapplied. Our concept of "individual" is a complete illusion because man’s consciousness
is the consciousness of the world, humanity, and has no beginning because we are part of that stream.
So, what happens when a person dies? What happens to all my fears,
anxieties, longings, aspirations, desires, and the enormous burden we carry for all those years? What happens when the body
dies of misuse, old-age, injury, and sickness? When the body dies it commingles in the stream and manifest desires, loneliness,
and all the travail of mankind including rare moments of happiness. All that is the stream of human consciousness,
that river, because the individual does not exist because your human consciousness is like everybody else.
In that stream of consciousness man has invented religions, saviors,
rituals, beliefs, scriptures, God,Christ, Yahweh, Lord Buddha, Krishna, Brahma, Shiva, Vishnu, and all other religious beliefs
man has invented.
Not only religion but political,cultural, and racial ideologies
of being British, French, Russian, black, white, and asian, etc. All the boundaries and psychological conditioning of culture,
authorities, and ideas of immortality, eternity seeking the immeasurable. All that is our consciousness and is like
everybody else.
To the writer, there is no psychological evolution or continuation
of a Spirit, Soul, Substance, Ego-Permanent, Self, Atman, and me that evolve. So, when the body dies it commingles in the
stream and manifests our common lot of suffering, etc. Our consciousness is of that stream and thought is the inventor of
all the illusions and the operation of those illusions.
Christians, Muslims, Judaism, Hindu, Buddhist, French, British, Russian
and host of other ideologies the world has invented is part of that stream. Thought has invented those illusions and when
the body dies, the anxiety and misery go on in the river because the stream of consciousness is the whole of mankind.
The River manifest what thought invented PSYCHOLOGICALLY, the me
who is the representative of all mankind because I am of that stream. All the quality of the stream is I and the River
is that.
The concept of "Individual" is illusionary and an ego concept. As long
as man does not step out of the stream there is no salvation for mankind. Salvation does not rest in the invention
of religion but looking at death daily and shedding our conclusion, opinion, authority, and psychological conditioning.
If the concept of "individual" is an illusion how can organized
religion point out a possibility of an afterlife. If human beings share the consciousness of mankind and is one in that
consciousness how can one go to heaven, paradise, reincarnate, rebirth, and engage in options of immortality? The
salvation organized religion offer is an illusion because the concept of the "individual" is illusionary.
Is there some type of intelligence which can assist mankind to
step out of the stream that he shares psychologically? To question the nature of suffering and finding out what death is the
action of stepping out without an actor or actress. The action of the "insight" is not of the stream because insight is not
the invention of thought.
For example, I am of that stream with a name and form. I am Deanna,
woman, dutch american, medium built, hazel eyes, medium brown hair, etc. That is my name and form. Now, I realize I suffer
and I begin to inquire the nature of suffering and the very insight of the inquiry ends the suffering. Suffering is part of
that stream of consciousness which I share with the rest of mankind. I examine logically, sanely, and non verbally the whole
structure of suffering and the very seeing the looking into this is the "insight" . I am studying, questioning, and
examining my conditioning and boundaries which is part of that stream Than from my intense inquiry something
comes into being which is not from the stream. The action of the Insight! Inquiry sets aside interpretation, tradition,
authority invented by thought. The action of the Insight is something that comes into being which is not from the
stream of consciousness.
Accepting tradition, religion, and authority stops the inquiry and
the action of the insight. We are not giving our energy into this and simple do not care to inquire, investigate, and find
out. We believe authority to guide and help us with our thinking believing they know better. The authority does not
know anything because like you they are part of that stream suffering and enjoying rare moments of happiness. Unless you free
yourself from authority and reject authority accepting no escape or rationalization you will always live and contribute to
that stream or River.
To the writer there is no pyschological evolution or continuation
after death: no Spirit, Soul, Ego-Permanent, Self, Atman, and "I" that evolve. No re-incarnation or re-birth
because there is no "I" or "me" to re-incarnate or re-born or continue in an after life.
Now, what is the state of Mind of a man who has the insight in the
nature of suffering and the whole movement of the stream? What is that quality of Mind - the dying of the content?
The action of the Insight is Intelligence, Compassion, and Love. The
stream is you, examine it, end it. Not being able to end it, we invent Time. I will one day step out of that stream. So, thought
in that respect invented psychological evolution. Thought invented psychological development through time. Instead of what
really belongs to the psychological sphere, namely the immediacy. Immediacy is the insight and that is not of time. Our actions
are always on the time level.
A rebirth is this constant stream manifesting in humanity or the
content of human consciousness. This re-birth is totally different from the Buddhist point of view. The body dies
by usage, wrong way of living, injury, or old age. It dies inevitably. To find out what death is one has to be with death.
To end all attachments, believes, and end to everything that one has collected. That definition and action of death are not
in the stream. The action of the insight is the action of intelligence, compassion, love, and only than there is a relationship
to Truth.
Dying daily is the key to free the condition of this whole thing which
is I and the stream. To die daily so there is no shadow of the stream is relating immorality, the immeasurable, and eternity
before Death - not something beyond Death.
What about heaven, paradise, reincarnation, rebirth, and the
continuation of the "me?" Is there something we can cling to? No, there is nothing to continue because there is
no "me" nor the "individual." Truly seeing this as a fact is a creative action of the insight. The security of the
"me" to continue is an illusion and when we drop this illusion by examining, investigating, studying, inquiring, we step out
of the stream. The nature which is operating out of the stream is the action of the insight: intelligence, compassion,
and love.
Thought is our greatest achievement but somehow we miss the mark of
"seeing" things the way they really are. Because of our Ego we invent something which is contrary to Nature, our common
human consciousness, and depend on promises that denies the immeasurable of the Cosmos. The concept of the "individual"
is an illusion because humanity is "one" and our salvation is the action of the "insight" that creates a quality
of Mind truly immortal as we die daily.
A Mix Meditation of anatomy and the Islamic tradition.
Truly, the Cosmos evolves the brain as the superior
organ and evolution favor no particular gender. The goal in nature is to pass
genes at best. The brain is similar in its nature to seduce, arouse, and pro-create.
Passion is Passion and to depict a difference is contrary to the goal of evolution.
If the brain is the superior organ and find no respector
of gender why is the anatomy of a woman insignificant and second best in most cultures?
In meditation, I inquire the nature of anatomy as destiny. In
some tradition anatomy determines a woman's destiny. At birth, the anatomy of a baby is the
mother's fate determined by society. The dignity of a female child-birth is insignificant
and the future of her daughter is second best.. So, the anatomy of a baby determines the child's
fate, and future. The moment she is born she is labeled "seductive" and her status in society is second
class with very little social, religious, and political rights. Regardless of her talents and gifts from nature
her fate is sealed to a set of moral rules written by the establishment.
I observe women of Islam and those who are
subject to a common dress and head covering.
Why are they covered from head to toe?
According to Islam her anatomy is determined as seductive
and must be hidden to restrain the temptation of the man. The woman is capable to restrain opposed to her male counterpart
who is weak. Because of his weakness she must shield herself behind a curtain to assist him with his sexual
impulses.
The woman therefore must have a curtain, a cloak, to
hide her body from the man.
The man, however, is free to express his anatomy
and he rightfully should do so.
The author question if it is true a man is not capable in controlling
his emotions? Why is a woman capable and not a man?
Why does she have to be covered to restrain the impulse
of the man?
The belief an adult man cannot control his
impulse is an insult to his manhood and manhood of all men. To depict a man weak in character and his lack
of ability to control his impulse is degrading to his sex and person.
The man is confused because he does not understand why she is cloaked
to help him restrain his sexual impulses.
This is an insult for him and frustrating
for the woman isolating and alienating the possibility for any dialogue in resolving this bizarre social
arrangement.
************
Meditation on worship.
Is there a separation between the observer and the observed?.
If there is no separation why does man separate the observer and the observed in his act of worship with a Deity?
The illusion of a separation between the worshipper and the object
he worship is the content of his condition imposed by his religious tradition. There is no separation between
the worshipper and the object he worships. To worship is to show reverence and adoration for a Deity and
to acknowledge a worthiness and a acknowledgement of worth. The worshipper acknowledge the worthiness
of his object he is worshipping, however, in Truth the two are the same. The belief of a separation is a
state of mind conditioned by tradition and in this state we have invented an object we call "God".
The other day I observe a large group of people who worship
in a religious setting. Singing, clapping hands, and worshipping the God of their religion. I observe the group in praise
and I question the object of their worship. Why would an group of people engage in a worship without questioning
the object of their worship? We have been taught in the act of worship we are in contact
with the object of our worship. I question the object and the person worshipping. Are they separate
or is the separation an illusion invented by religious tradition and religious authority?
The object of worship is based on belief which most
likely is inherited from tradition and taught by religious authority. No one question the nature of religion
and religious authority. The worshipper obviously has an object to worship, a God, who he knows nothing
about. The object he worship is his tradition and the content of his object is written by others
as "Truth". How can "Truth" be a tradition determined by others and why does
he follow a religious system and worship a object not his own?
The worshipper is blind by his tradition and religious authority. He
faila to examine his own condition formed by religious tradition and imposed by religious authority.
The content of his worship liberates a moment of his conditioned state and
in that moment he finds joy believing the Deity touched him. What touched him was the absence of his Ego state which
conditioned him to belief and in that moment the separation of the worshipper and his object ceased to exist. (the
observer is the observed)
Meditation on an invitation to join the Jewish faith.
The author read a brief advertisement in the local paper pertaining
to classes for those interested in joining the Jewish faith. The invitation to learn is good but to join a faith
believing the faith is "Truth" is the blind leading the blind. How can Truth approach if the believer is entertained
with ideas and concepts of others? A believer can never approach Truth because Truth is pathless and not based on belief.
Truth approach when the person question belief and engage in inquiry to find out the unknown.
Begin with the unknown and you find enormous energy, whereas
when you constantly work from the known, there isn't energy to penetrate with. Between were you are now
and where you like to be there is a sort of barrier, or a chasm and it sometimes is a good idea to imagine that
you are already at the other side of the chasm, so that you can start on the unknown side. *************
Meditation on a Government's Greatest Asset: Trust and Confidance
of the people.
Trust and confidence are the Greatest Political Assets a Government
can Achieve. If this is a true statement, the political mind must mature and put aside self interest and primitive
behavior.
Most of us live our lives in despair and angst on a conscious level
unaware. We hear the clock tick and our lives only exist on a beaten path. Our eyes read scripts written by others and to
the letter we must obey and follow a host of illusions which suppose to benefit us. So, day by day we live another person’s
dream, the dominant elite, who we never meet.
On a deep level society is scared and fearful and finding no relief
the addiction of food, alcohol, tobacco, drugs, and host of all sorts are used to release the pain in the
mind and body. Every citizen is the Government and if the Government desire to achieve trust and confidence the Mind of the
Government must have radical transformation. The greatest good for a Government is trust and confidence of the people but
how is that possible if policy making is written by men and women trapped in a primitive Mind. Most policies are neither
practical nor moral to benefit the disadvantaged. How can the Government expect Goodness of the people if the Mind of the
Government is corrupt? For example, if the Government is the Mind and Society the Body how can the Body be healthy if the
Mind is ill? The Mind is the superior organ that determines the body either healthy or sick. So, the relationship between
the Government and Society must change and qualities of humanity, equanimity, benevolence, kindness, and goodness restored.
How can a public official cultivate compassion if he or she is void of respect, equanimity, sincerity, diligence, and kindness?
These virtues are essential for public office including the virtue to speak against issues which are contrary to
the welfare of the people and in support for the dominant elite and powerful interest groups.
A good public official must send unwelcome truths to those who abuse
their power. A good politician is a philosopher who seeks truth and has discernment and confidence to point out transgression
regardless of unpleasant consequences.
"The error of the mind is a need
to compete, comparing one self to others, hatred, and a urge for power. Resolve those needs before considering
a position in politics". Deanna
****************************************
The sons of Abraham is a poem about Abram and Sarai and the destiny of Abraham's two sons, Ismael and Isaac.
How pious is Abram and Sarai and does nature favor Isaac opposed to Ismael? If so, where is the support of
a *natural slave being a product of nature?
*natural slave, a weak argument, is a Aristotle concept. One may observe natural inequality, for
example, such as strength and intelligenc being products of nature, however, the natural slave is not a product
of nature but established by convention which relates and causes differences in power and wealth. The
natural slave being a product of nature is a trick perpuated by the powerful on the weak inorder to maintain their
power and wealth.
- Genesis 13:10-20 the story of Abram reveals a man who
petitioned his wife to save him from death. Abram
lied to Pharoah and claim his wife to be his sister and for him to take her as his wife. Once
discovered Pharaoh escorted him out of Egypt with his wife and all that belonged to him.
- Genesis 16:1-16. Abram childless listened to his wife
to be intimate with Hagar. Sarai gave her maid to appease her husband because the couple remained childless. Abram,
86 years old, impregnated Hagar and bore a son, Ishmael. Sarai despised her maid for being fertile
and as it turned out Hagar's fertility caused disturbance in the household.
- This is the genesis of Ismael, a babe, born in an abusive
environment, being a son of a maid, a slave, dark in skin; a worthless human being.
- The fruit of Ismael is the Arab nation
and regarded second best. Most of us belief the privilege and status of Isaac as a manifested destiny from
God.
- The Abram and Sarai recorded in history ,who as all of
us, fall short of goodness in character. The illusion, however, the couple is perceived special creating a chosen
child to form a nation selected by God as his chosen people.
- Of course, a myth (being chosen) which caused
the Arab nations grief and suffering.
The sons of Abraham
( a poem of Ismael and Isaac)
Israel, descendants of Isaac possessed
harboring nuclear power from the west
under his spell a nation is impressed
empire of power and gold is his quest
to shield him from four corners of unrest
ironclad to preserve a race God professed
Israel, the illusionist so colorfully dressed
descendent of Isaac proudly self-professed
Ismael a wanderer of a nation distressed
first born of Abram a seed many detest
birthing babes from a concubine is a pest
this first son of Abram a unwelcome guest
a lower caste and dark skin is the blood test
his first son sent to the wilderness in protest
of a second son, a fair toned babe blessed
by a seed of Abram and Sarai’s zest
a promise fulfilled Isaac suckling breast
abandon his first born a nomad of unrest
multiplying into Arab nations unaddressed
to the world a nuisance and a second best
desiring resolution of sin and eternal rest
the descendants of Abram’s first born
a seed of endurance seeking a day of rest
to honor his father and mother and contest
the brother, descendants of Isaac, to confess
the sinful intent for the first son to dispossess
and atone the inheritance of a wedding chest
celebrating the birth of two sons and profess
sharing land and
status of Abraham’s best.
*******************
Seventy Virgins
"A joyful noise and a trumpet is blown in Paradise.
Illuminated beings and seventy virgins are preparing a feast for a man of courage and bravery."
The following is a short story about the nature of a suicide
bomber. The purpose of the story is not to condone suicide but to point
out the nature of the act. Why is a person so compelled to self destruct in order to safe others? Not
only self destruct but to destruct others as well? Once you think on the subject free from prejudice you find
the earth must be shared not dominated by a group who think
are chosen or worthy to exist.
87 % of the Palestine
People live way below poverty.
Israel is in the midst of many enemies and now rest
in isolation in the middle East. Israel would do well if Palestine is recognized as a legitimate State and
atone sharing the land equal. Further, atonement of helping the Palestine people to be independent
and unite the brotherhood of Ismael and Isaac. Unless Israel atone one half of the land to the people of Palestine and the
two states are recognized legitimate there is no alternative but further isolation and hatred from the Arabic peoples.
***********************************
SEVENTY VIRGINS
BY
DEANNA
A great voice moved rhythmically and steadily as to be heard over a long distance,
"Prepare the feast table for our faithful courageous young man. Praise to Allah; this man marked
by courage and determination in the face of difficulties achieved victory. Set the table with
our finest linen and meticulously place each utensil and napkin in excellent form and appearance.
Our brave heart will toast his glassware made of quartz and pure silica with the prophet Mohammed. Let the sound of crystal cheer repeatedly making a loud noise
raising him from a lower to a higher position in this great house. Bring the virgins and have
the lovely maidens greet our guest,"uttered the booming voice.
The seventy virgins enter wearing only a necklace made by some stringing
objects together such as string of pearls, rubies, or emeralds. Each maiden wore a long type of lustrous necklace touching her breast and vagina.
"Man of courage, your reward is seventy lovely virgins. Take the necklace from
the maiden and wrap it around your neck and take her. The choice is yours, at your disposal she
is. She is pristine and free from stain and our gift is the unsullied splendor of eternal youth,"
the voice, no longer distant, spoke softly said.
Kahib felt his heart beat making a rhythmic sound as of drums as each virgin
walked and took a seat at his table, "Thank you Allah and Mohammed his prophet
for this pleasure of joy and excitement that such a gift is available for a young man of courage,
a bridegroom in the company of seventy brides.
Such honor," Kahib sighs of ecstasy and his voice sings joyfully. Another voice of a brilliant sound echoed, "Our guest will arrive soon, and he is
outstanding and excellent. Praise Allah and his prophet Mohammed."
At the gate multiple brilliant stars of mosaic colors beamed this place. A spiritual being possessed with extraordinary energy approached embraced Kahib, and
having striking color this being is probably one of highest in rank.Completely in this being’s
transparent embrace the magnificent light of this being illuminates the hero. Once initiated
the being sends the young man of courage to the front of the narrow path. Immediately, cheers
of many spiritual beings possessed with exceptional holiness led this brave heart into another path of extraordinarily large in size. This must be the room for the
bridegroom. His eyes gaze on the free passages of each being changing locations rapidly, free
from gravity. Every being is perfect in this place and in harmony with every other creature.
This place has everything in the past and present on Earth but in perfection free from birth
and death.
It started to dawn. Kahib heard a vibrant noise like a trumpet and an innocent giggle of one of the virgins. Kahib wakes up by the ringing of the alarm
clock. The young man’s mothers touches him on his shoulders and he notice her new green
garment. She wears the same dress each day but today she is dressed in a new dress of woven cloth.
This day is special.
" Kahib, your alarm clock is ringing. Get ready for our morning prayers. This is a joyful day for us Kahib. My heart is full of God’s spirit and his delight. I
knit a sweater for you and in a color you love, green. This color match your eyes but soothes
the eyes of those around you. I prepared tea for us but let us pray together to Allah and offer
thanks for this opportunity," says his mother touching him gently on his face.
Azizi’s face outlined with deep creases and each line on her face tells a story.So many stories and the depth of each crease has a chapter in words composed of grief.
There is no beginning and no end of her suffering. Her frail body diseased with arthritis and
osteoporosis makes it difficult for her to move about. Her hands like leather dried from her
daily labor in the Sun. Only a few moments of rest and five times a day for her prayers is her
allotted time for peace. The rest of her day is serving the occupation foreign to their land.
Despite of her life controlled, the military of the occupation, she is graceful and pleasant. "Kahib, this day our home will be transformed. The wood frame
repaired and hanging shingles on the roof replaced by red brick and shattered windows by new glass," Azizi joyfully cries. " My son, poverty is sold for courage and righteousness,"
she raises her arms and hands high and weeps. "You deserve the best. Father died so young and
you suffered my sweet dear mother. Working every day in the field, the field we owned, stolen
by the occupation. Not a day goes by free from their insults and if you do not reach your daily quota you are punished." says Kahib touching with his finger each
crease gently. "It is my duty to relieve you from years of agony and hardship. Not only you but
our torn village suffers from a foreign master, a master in our land," says Kahib and takes a
strand of hair off her face.
Azizi helps Kahib put his belt loaded with a bomb and a device to control the object. Kahib reads verses from the Koran while Azizi’s hand trembles as
she touches the belt. Her eyes tearful and she carefully places the belt around his waist. Finally,
after much effort, her frail hands places limits but she determines to fasten the belt and continue
until she hears the click. Again she checks the belt carefully and covers his waist with
his sweater and smiles softly. Both prayed their morning prayers and she kissed
him holding him very close. Her head resting on his right broad shoulder as she places her last
kiss on his left cheek holding tight in a final embrace. "My son, you are born from my womb and
in my womb I know you are very special. I gave birth to you and held you in my arms just like
I am doing now. Nothing has changed since your birth, my son. Your bravery equals your
father’s. You are like him. Kahib, you are special and remember our journey to the holy city, Mecca. On the day of purification, you were offered the opportunity
to spent eternity with Allah. Only a few are selected to serve Allah in retrieving justice
for our land. There is no other recourse but to perform a sacrifice. You are chosen for this
task and your reward is an entrance to Paradise, a place free from suffering and death," says
his mother in a soft voice. "My son, vultures roam our village and each day the naked headed beast draw to our house waiting for the moment their claws can feast on my
flesh. Prepare a place for me, my son, soon I’ll join you and do not worry. Remember the
promise of those who fight the occupation. Our house repaired, a new roof, and a promise your
mother will not have to labor in the field under the hot sun. Only a few seasons pass until my
worn out flesh is wrapped in a shroud and laid to rest. You are chosen among thousands of pilgrims. Yes, thousands of pilgrims only a few chosen and my son, you
are special appointed my the almighty Allah."
Kahib looks out the broken glass window and notice large birds, head and neck bare of feathers, preying on his village. "Yes, mother, you are right the large
birds are approaching our home each day a bit closer," says Kahib and point his finger to his
mother.
Kahib walks out of the house waving as he sees her in her new dress; and in a flash forward he sees her home repaired and a new roof of red brick. He sees
his mother leaving the field and resting free from labor in the field under the hot sun. It is
a good morning for Kahib and Azizi. Kahib sees his mother smile softly and no longer Kahib sees
a face with wrinkles and road maps of suffering. Azizi’s future is secured.
The resistance party of Palestine provides Kahib with transportation to the capitol of Israel, Jerusalem. This is not something new fighting the occupation. The fight for freeing Palestine began with Kahib’s grandparents. Before the occupation Kahib’s
grandparents told him stories of how good life was. Plenty to eat and a promise for future generations
of a good life. Yes, there were set backs, but all in all life was good.
The fight for liberation is a daily effort for the people of Palestine. Kahib
paid attention in his mother’s womb to his Father’s elaborate and systematic plan of action to challenge those who occupied their land. Kahib was nurtured in the
womb by his mother’s loving care but also shared her grief, angst, and immense suffering.
In her womb the nature of suffering became Kahib’s familiar lot and nourished a seed to
serve the greater Good.For months her hands on her womb and her ear on the front door, she listen
to father’s footsteps and whispers, "My love, be safe come home please my darling."
The leader of the resistance party discuss in detail the nature of how
justice must be attained. There is no other solution because all efforts of justice failed. After the pilgrimage the leader, Ghassan, visit Kahib in a village nearby Azizi’s
home. Kahib anxious to initiate the plan of attack with him. "May Allah bestow peace on you and
your mother," says Ghassan kissing him on the left and right cheek. "May Allah comfort you in
days to come and may your mission achieve victory," Ghassan kissing him for the second time on
his left and right cheek. "Kahib, you are chosen for this task and your lips must remain sealed to anyone," Ghassan in an firm voice. "Kahib, when you step on the bus
you hold your head up and lightly smile. A friendly smile secures the authority. Dress lightly
and in your finest clothes and make sure your shoes shines. Pants creased, shirt ironed, and
a tie to match. A good businessman is known for the quality of his shoes and his appearance must
be immaculate. Your hair must be cut short and shave your tiny beard so the appearance
is one of a western type businessman. Your skin is very light and your eyes green. Your appearance already sets you apart from the others. The party has arranged
a new identification and remember look at the authority and do not let your head down once. If
you do you show that you are hiding something. When you arrive at the capitol you will see the
international café. Many public officials rest and have tea
discussing issues on their agenda. Also, many touristvisit the town square including Rabbi’s
and students discuss religious issues at the café. The place
is surrounded by the police but you will fit in because of your light complexion and the police
will not notice a difference between you and the population that congregates. Always be friendly
and speak in a pleasant voice if someone speaks to you. Open your portfolio and pretend you are
preparing some business deal and you are waiting for someone. The bomb must be set off at four o’clock when people leave their work and use the transit. The goal
is to destroy and paralyze their transit system. Look at our transit system.Be alert and focused
and remember four o’ clock is when you pull the clip. Your mother will be cared for and
your mother’s home will be repaired. The frame of the house repaired, the roof fixed, and
she will not have to labor in the field the moment you pull the clip and set off the bomb. Your
reward is Paradise and a groom to seventy virgins. Here is a partial payment for your efforts. Also, buy your mother a new dress for this occasion. The rest is
for other needs, and the balance of the payment is paid to your mother. Go in peace and may the
strength and courage be with you. Here is the belt and all you have to do is pull the clip and
repeat the name of Allah and Mohammad, his prophet. In his name you are performing your deed,"
Ghassan in a sullen voice and stoic hand Kahib a belt with explosives and large
sums of money.
"May peace be with you and may Allah be victorious. Your words fromAllah
is highly esteemed and your sacrifice is glory to Allah. Thank you for this honor, my brother,"
Kahib in a soft voice praising, hugging, and kissing Ghassan on the left and right cheek. "May
peace be upon you," Kahib letting Ghassan go. Both depart and Kahib return to his home with a
belt and large sums of money tucked away underneath his clothes praising Allah for this fine opportunity
Kahib left his village a few days later and traveled to the Jerusalem. On
the bus he fit among the people. His new suit and dress shirt with tie tailored to perfect measurement made Kahub look
very smart. His light complexion and green eyes appeared European
opposed to a man of Arabic decent. During his travel to Jerusalem the police ask for his papers
and carefully checks his identification. The identification, of course, is false but groomed
to play the role of a business man, he is seen as a resident and a young businessman seeking
opportunity.
The resistance assigned his task in Jerusalem. Over fifty years the political
policies of the United States to Israel unbalance the scales between the Palestine
and Israel. The scales favored the occupation and tipped the scale of injustice for Kahib and
the people of Palestine. The great power of the west unfair in policy and the occupation belief
of a special status set the stage for young men like Kahib to use their bodies as a weapon of
defense, the only and honorable tool left.
The police checks everyone on the bus. One by one. Kahib last off the bus and having a firm grip on the hand rail his right foot felt the pavement on the
cobble stone road in Jerusalem. Kahib sighs and fraught with anxiety as he places his left foot
on the road made from cobble stones and when both of his feet are placed firmly on the cobble
stone road he took a deep breath and composed himself repeating phrases of the Koran in his head.
Heart pulsating he feels his belt around his waist realizing he finally reached his destination.
Around the town square dozens of shops and in the midst is the international
café. The shops around the square are mostly outside and
the shop keepers proudly display merchandise of all sorts. This was a
perfect place for Kahib, so many people bustled about excitingly shopping and no one paying attention
to anything unusual except the police surrounding the town square.
Close by the town square Kahib perceives with all of his senses an exhibition of some kind by the young folks. Children of third or fourth grade singing
songs and one voice befitting an angel stood out. Mesmerized by the children and their majestic
voices and the children's stage presence of the exhibition his thoughts exerted such a struggle
fighting for his breath. "Children are not part of this. Children are righteous and precious
and touching the innocent is contrary to the teaching in the Holy Koran," Kahib says to himself
. "Why are the children here. Is this a special occasion of some sort. Did Ghassan know a festival is celebrated today for young children. Today, is the day for
victory but did Ghassan know of this exhibit by children? "Kahib questioning in deep thought.
The children walk in the type of dance step around the center of the square passing dozens of shops and few cafe’s. The children sing and clap their little hands
to the beat of the school master’s hands. "How long will the children stay and perform.
I have to wait this out no matter what," says Kahib to himself feeling pangs of pain throughout
his body.
Kahib watch the children perform and to maintain a composure he sat among the audience clapping for the children after each song. For about one
hour the children perform and Kahib feels so relieved when the school-master let the children
outside the square into the opposite direction.
Within the town square the well known international café, King David, discussed by Ghassan nestled in the midst of shops and entertainment.
The waiter approached Kahib and offered him a seat. Kahib ask the waiter
to be seated on the terrace to watch the bustle of the shoppers. " I like to sit on the terrace.
I enjoy watching the bustle of the people. Is that possible?" Kahib ask the waiter.
Near the window of the café Kahib notice
a group of students, university age, debating religious stuff. The leader of the group, a Rabbi,
ask a moral question relating to the Torah and the students would debate. To
the right of the student an artist draws sketches and another artist painting on a small canvas.
This place is a popular spot for all kind of folks and especially for European and American tourist.
Tourist find Jerusalem a holy site and many tourist guide start their tour from café King David. Because King David is so popular and there is quite a bit of
unrest in Israel the police in double force is evident. The police held Kahib’s interest
and Kahib having light complexion, green eyes, and dressed in expensive clothes. Men are admired
for dressing well because the status of a man is his clothes and shoes. His clothing and his European look blend into the population without question. Kahib, on the other hand, trembles
each time the police pass by him feeling out of place and scared to get caught. "So many people and police patrolling this place. So scared I might be caught. How about
if I get caught before my mission. How will mother survive?" ask Kahib wondering to himself.
"There are more people than expected. Probably because of the children’s concert and parade.
People of all ages are here to see the children sing and perform. I can’t fail this mission,"
Kahib’s feelings intense of the possibility of being caught and put in prison serving his
entire life.
The performance of the children disturbed Kahib of this risk taking
task. The police look at everyone twice but being light in complexion and having green eyes like a European his anxiety lessen each time the police pass him.
"Children no, this is not in the plan. Watching the little feet of the children
gallop in the opposite direction of the town square lifted a load off Kahib.The pain in his chest alleviated and his throat cleared as he took a deep breath. Racing
thoughts discharged from his mind while sipping tea pretending enjoyment opposed to constant
worry of being caught.
In the midst of the terrace of café
King David he had a chance to hear conversations and observe. It was a gorgeous day in spring.
The sky so clear and few dust particles in the air. The climate in this region is humid and can be very hot during the day. In spring time the weather is pleasant and the skies
are more clear. Kahib alert to every sound and movement.
Sitting on his left a woman laughs. Her voice free from roughness and harshness, a sound of clarity and purity of tone, so clear like a waterfall. She glance
at him and smiles. Her hair soft brown and her large eyes hazel is like one of the young maiden
in his dream, a rare beauty. "Good-morning, can I bring you some tea?" the waiter ask Kahib.
"Yes, thank you," Kahib replies. "Did you enjoy the singing of the children?" the waiter ask. "Yes, I did," Kahib smiles. In an instant Kahib knew the waiter is one
of the fingers serving the hand of the occupation but yet a flow of compassion touches Kahib.
The constant walk to and from waiting on tables seem so meaningless.
"I cannot help myself from laughing. It is good to laugh," says the young woman as she looks favorable at Kahib. "The children are terrific. Lot’s of talents,"
she says striking a conversation with Kahib. Kahib in a rare moment in the midst of the hustle
and bustle smiles to the young woman. "What is your name?" Kahib ask in a calm voice. Kahib's
remembers to blend in and engage in casual conversation.
"My name is Joanna. I notice you watch the children perform," Joanna response
to Kahib. "Where are you from, Joanna?" Kahib ask. "I am from Philadelphia.
"So, what did you think of the children’s performance?" Joanna ask. "You are far away from home, Joanna," Kahib response."Yes, I am. I am a student on
vacation for two weeks. I love it here. Everything is perfect and everyone is happy. A great
place and what a performance. I am amazed at the sound of the children’s voices. The school
master did an excellent job with the children. I am impressed by the children. I cannot help myself from chuckling," Joanna answers. "The children’s performance made my day; a real treat for me," says Joanna to Kahib.
Kahib thoughts racing and bewildered that a woman like Joanna think everything is perfect. "The only thing perfect is the children but a belief that every
is happy is not knowing the realities of the political climate between Israel and Palestine. Joanna
sees life as a visitor from America. Does Joanna know how the policies of America affect the
people of Palestine? Does she know eighty seven percent of the people of Palestine live below
poverty. Land confiscated from the owners and given to the occupation to built homes, businesses,
and falsely profit. Does she really know the realities of the situation in the country she is
visiting?" Kahib in deep thought.
Kahib felt an jab in his stomach and unsettled with the conversation he decides
to refrain from further conversation and focus on his assigned task. The
waiter brought tea to Kahib’s table and notice the young man frustrated and wanted to set
him at ease. "Enjoy your tea. Is this your first time in King David’s café. Do not worry, the police walk around twenty four hours per day. They look
intimidating but that is their job. In reality, those guys are friendly. After work they come
and relax with tea and conversation," says the waiter in a pleasant voice.
The police was in full force that day to protect the children at the festival.
Joanna notice a officer standing close to Kahib protruding his weapon on
the left side of Kahib’s waist. Kahib moved from the officer as she watched quietly. Kahib
notice one young officer smiling and as he approach Kahib return the smile. The young officer
accidentally hits his right shoulder and apologize for touching him slightly. "I am so sorry," the young officer in a low voice. "It has been a long day. I have
been working twelve hours per day to fill in for other officers. Today especially is very tiring
because of the children," he looks at Kahib and yawned. "Your job
is exhausting especially in such large crowd. I understand," Kahib respond.
Kahib intense but he remembers Ghassan’s instruction to keep calm and pleasant looking upward. Time is approaching and wait for the proper moment to
pull the clip; but it was not time yet. Kahib has to wait until four o’clock when most
of the work force leave and take the transit home. The occupation has transit far superior and
an unmatched infrastructure. To set the bomb off at four is to assure success for Kahib.
"Thank you," replies the officer. "Where are you from?" the officer ask. "Jerusalem,
I live not to far from here. I am here to watch the children perform. One of the children is
my daughter," Kahib lies.
Underneath Kahib’s stoic composure he was scared for questions leading
to suspicion. "In the name of Allah, I remain calm," Kahib in deep thought. "My daughter is the little one who performs the solo. Her little voice so pure and
God uses her special talent to take lead in most songs. Yes, her future is bright," the young
officer in a proud tone."Yes, her voice is lovely and her talent rare. You must be proud. All
of the children did a great performance but your little girl stood out like an angel. Oh, yes, the children so innocent and precious," Kahib remembering his little one. "Wonderful,
our children singing at the same festival ," the young officer’s response."Yes, we should be proud," Kahib looking to his right and left to check potential threats.
"Is anyone suspicious of me being here. I am happy the children are gone, "Kahib remembers Ghassan's
instruction of composure and calmness. Than Joanna with her ready smile and wit moves quickly
to receive the attention of another police officer. This officer more seasoned than the young
patrol man. A bit forceful as she notice the eyes of the older police man roving Kahib’s body and her wit mind quickly and lightly she exhale. "Your city is so
full of promise. What is your name," she ask diverting the seasoned police officer.
The officer moves close to Kahib and looks at him from an angle. "Your identification,
please?" the officer ask Kahib. Kahib nervous but composed hand the officer his identification.
"You are from Haifai, are you here for business?" ask the officer. "Yes, I am. I am here to watch
the children perform. My daughter is in the festival. Did you enjoy the songs of the children?"
Kahib ask the officer looking at him. "Yes, I did. I enjoy children. The teachers in our schools are well trained to offer an excellent education in academics
including all sorts of arts. Very few countries can beat our educational system. We are noted for
our excellent schools," the officer boast.
"Yes, I agree our schools are the best, " Kahib agreeing with the officer." Where
are you from. I notice an accent?" Kahib ask the officer. " I have lived here for twenty years
and moved to Israel from America. I lived in New Jersey and my parents immigrated to Israel when
God, the merciful created the state of Israel," the officer stands in an defense position. "Yes, we are blessed God has provide us an opportunity to go home," Kahib calm and
intensely frustrated agreeing with the officer.
Kahib had no choice but to confirm the words
of the officer because it was not time to set off the bomb. "Soon, I’ll revenge this bastard
who is occupying my land," Kahib rubbs his hands together. The police officer hand back his identification and left to answer a call from his fellow officer on the beat.
Once the officer depart from Kahib he turn his attention to Joanna. "My name is Kahib," looking at Joanna. Joanna overheard the conversation and felt relaxed
knowing the police officer cleared him. "Israel is God’s land for his chosen people and
the officer is blessed returning to his home land. I did not realize that you are the father
of one of those darling children," Joanna in a tone of faith and surprise.
The waiter refill his glass with tea and serves kosher bread. "You know, there is a lot of problems in Israel, you know those guys who strap a bomb on their waist
and blow up good citizens and then themselves. You know, that is very sinful and the act of suicide
is an abomination to God. Don’t you agree," the waiter serious and in a contemplative voice.
Joanna overhears the comment by the waiter. "Yes, it is sinful. I am Christian and it is against the Christian doctrine to kill and commit suicide. Such
a person is sent to Hell and burn in the Lake of Fire. Not only him but anyone that does not
confess Jesus as the Son of God is doomed," Joanna to the waiter interfering his comments.
The waiter surprised by Joanna’s comments turns to Kahib. " You are a
Jew, being a good Jew practicing the faith reap the reward of heaven. Jesus has nothing to do
with the entrance of heaven. We are the chosen people set aside to be an example of righteousness
to the world. We are gathered by the grace of God to form this great state of Israel sixty
years ago. It is God’s will all Jews dispersed in the world to return to Israel. This land
is our land given by God. It is our birth right. Do you agree?" the waiter turns his head to Kahib and Joanna. Kahib looks at his watch and time is almost at hand for his task.
"Yes, I agree," Kahib answered the waiter. "I agree the land of Israel belongs to God chosen
people but Jesus fulfilled the letter of the law of Moses and as a Savior he died for our sins
as the promised Messiah.
The waiter did not respond to Joanna’s argument realizing she is Christian and
a guest in his land and to challenge Joanna is not good for the Café. Soon thereafter the waiter chats with Joanna about his birth right and Joanna discuss Jesus
as her salvation each serving their interest.
The time is close only ten minutes before Kahib pull the clip. It is ten minutes
before four and at four o’clock the task must be complete. Kahib opens
his portfolio briefcase reading verses written on a piece of paper. "Great is Allah and Mohammed,
his prophet. Let Allah’s reign of justice begin," Kahib reads the verse over and over filling
him with utter confidence. "Only six minutes left," Kahib feels the power of Allah in every nerve,
bone, and system in his body. Kahib turns to the waiter and the waiter looks at Kahib attentively and both look in each other’s eyes. "If you are the chosen people,
and your destiny is to be a righteous example, a light to the world why is your fellow man denied
an existence to eat, sleep, and work? Why are babes weeping in their mother’s womb crying
for justice? Why do you treat your fellow man inferior, starve him, humiliate, degrade, and exterminate
him so you can have all the land? Our children eat crumbs fallen from the floor to fill their hunger pains. The women like scavengers poke and remove the inner core
of the waste fields. Like orphans our children are dressed. Their young teeth decayed. Their
little and fragile bodies move like a carcass counting the bones of their protrude rib cage.
The overall countenance sullen and no melodies for our young ones but the noise of a begging
bowl beating the pavement," Kahib in a powerful voice.
Than Kahib’s eyes move to Joanna and
his eyes focus like an Eagle stalking his prey. "Joanna, you favor the descendant of Isaac and
turn Justice into a whore. The great power of the west write policies to support the greater
good of the harlot, Israel. I possess no power except to fulfill a destiny grown from a seed
in my mother’s womb. To offer a sacrifice to the greater good is righteous because great
suffering equals great change," Kahib’s voice calm and commanding.
Kahib looks at his watch and three minutes pass. Kahib’s voice gives rise
to the people in King David"s café. "Allah is merciful
to the oppressed," Kahib reading scripture loud. "Allah is merciful to the oppressed," Kahib
praises God. Kahib’s determined to accomplish his mission. Praising God fills him with the omnipotent supernatural power; the potency from God bestowed
